easter

she dances across my dreams on occasion,

leaving footprints in the sandstorm my slumber has become.

unseen and unspoken, she led me last evening,

taking me to the nexus of my torn adolescence,

where countless rainy aprils melt into ceaseless dripping mays,

and cirrhosis stroked ghosts haunt cancer to my spirit.

but she's lost to me in the here and now somewhere this morning easter,

as i contemplate summer but linger back in autumn.

burning my brain 'til i'm sick to my stomach,

running from nothing and afraid of it all.

it's hard to pass softly when i'm swallowing empty,

too weak to keep up to a numbing neglect.

with florescent tinged eggshells cracking into chocolate madness,

of a spring born too late or not born at all.